Kate as Sacrificial Lamb.

Today we find out that Kate gave Jon five dollars a day to spend when she was pregnant with the Plus Six. And like a plague of locusts, the unhappily single Carrie Bradshaw Vuiton-otrons at Us Weekly declared Kate an unfit mother and de-phallicating wife.

But but but. 

This was before there $50k an episode, before the reverse mullet, before Kate's stalking of the paparazzi. This is when the Gosselins were broke, Kate six months pregnant with her uterus closer to a seal's than a human's, and Jon -- Jon, that great, depressive, unhappy, hair-plugged symbol of 21st century multi-cultural male indecision -- was probably stealing from the kid's college funds to buy a used Halo 2 from a kid on EBay.

Here's the point: Kate may have a reverse mullet, she may have an addiction to tanning beds, she may even enjoy being famous, but it is quite clear she has kept this family together. With Jon in charge -- that human marshmallow, that uncircumsized alcoholic, that sexually infantilizing pig -- three of those kids would be performing in a small circus outside Topeka. 

Let's remember: Jon cheated. Jon hates Kate. And if the gossip magazine's weren't run by a bunch of self-loathing, wet double-cap-hold-the-foam-gurgling, single women who hid their fear of a life without children/love behind a curtain of sarcasm and misogyny, maybe our favorite reverse-mulleted mommy-natrix would get a little fairer of a shake.